Chapter One “Meditation Vs. Masturbation”

I always plan to meditate before I go to sleep.  So I light a candle and gaze at my betta, Ares, and then I want to masturbate.  No, not because of the fish. After a day, I get horny.  It’s that instant gratification I can’t hold in. God dammit I’m horny and I can not meditate until this is taken care of.  So of course pleasure myself til I cum, and proceed to succumb to that catholic school boy guilt: “I’m going to go to hell for aborting all my unborn children!”. 

 
Then I start thinking too much about life and how shitty things are.  Now I can’t sleep nor meditate.  So I go through my nightly ritual.  Get caught up on all my social media. Watch a few TikToks.  Maybe make one.  Then gotta post that to all my social media sites. Fuck! It’s 4a.m.  I go to sleep finally.  I’ve come to the conclusion: for me, masturbation IS meditation. 

Afterthought:

It was kind of annoying that every time I wanted to type masturbate or any derivative of that word, my iPhones magical autocorrect power wouldn’t help me spell it, or give me options like other words did.